Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Slapped own bum silly

When I ride an exercise bike my arse will eventually go numb. I don't know if that happens to other people but it does for me. It sometimes gets so numb all I can sense is my rectum and what it is brewing. It's not a pleasant feeling, the numb arse, and the way to bring it back to life is to rise in the saddle and let blood flow.

If you're impatient you can also rub or slap it to help relieve the numbing.

I was in a hurry, in a small pause and wanted to drop back down and keep riding. So without thinking I slapped my arse a half-dozen times with some force. 

It hurt. My arse awoke during the slapping and started hurting from slaps instead of the numb but my brain had fired the message to slap and I slapped myself beyond awake and it was like I'd received a vigorous punitive smacking.

I said "What the fuck?" and "Ouch" then sat back down. When I rose again to restore circulation I instead massaged my arse with a splayed hand that employed no smacking at all. It took a little longer for the same result of awakening but without my feeling I'd been assaulted ... by me.

Another lesson learned; numb bum then rub it to life---do not smack it awake. Because you may wake it up midway through the revivification with your brain having ordered three slaps too many.

Rub the bum; do not hurt it.

This has been "Fun with exercise biking".

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