Tuesday, April 03, 2018

Short shorts fart fail; crockery exposed

I was unloading the dishwasher when my doctor-ordered short shorts fell past my arseline. Behind me was the crockery cupboard, at arse level, which was open to receive that which I was getting from the dishwasher. 

That's when I farted into the cupboard. It's not like I backed up with a reverse beeping noise, and there was no "spackle" as best I could tell—it was just a dry rectal cough. But still I farted on our cups, plates and glasses and that's not cool.


I confessed to the accident but there's little to be done. It happened, we have to accept it and move on. The only other option is to call in an airstrike to remove it or take all the crockery out and wash it solely on the basis it may have had a brief exposure to some arse gas. 

Needless to say neither option was on the table. But if it was John Bolton making the decision my house and the surrounding street would now be irradiated glass

That Mikey, he always has to bring a fart joke back to geopolitics. 

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