Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Subconscious fuses the negative

I had a series of ghastly dreams that fused story lines of childhood and work. I was copping it from both ends. Dream me was frustrated by the stress and real me woke with the after-glow of nightmares. I've lost recall of what it was about but I was revving on the crap my dream used as source material and was muttering in the shower. I nearly went to pick my face until I stopped it with a fresh dressing which I had not put on right away on getting out of the shower. Dumb mistake.

I wanted to yell "what fucking chance have I got?" I may have even done it in the dream before waking. A fixed coalition of childhood and workplace horror in my dreamscape will be hideous for future me. I'm going to have to use CBT to steer my brain from here and to protect it from the next allied attack. I just hope my dream avatar realises he is safe and he cannot be hurt physically by the people who hurt him. That he says "no" in a firm voice then protects his dream self from those arseholes.

A third of my life is spent sleeping. I tire of my mental injuries infesting that space and setting my mood on waking.

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