Monday, February 12, 2018

The old house

In addition to horror dreams a repeat offender is the "we've moved into the old house".

I don't know why. But I'm there, showing theboy where we're putting things or we've been there as a family for a while. 

When we left they renovated it and removed carpet for polished floorboards. In the dream it's the shit carpet we had as renters. Sometimes there's a spooky extra shed that was never there when we were there and is not there now.

Before this house it was the place we'd lived in the most. theboy was months old when we left. But we're all there now having bought it the state it was in when we were there.

I don't dream about this house, just that one. And we've lived here the longest.

Perhaps it's my brain choosing a setting before the injury; that this house is excised in the unconscious because it's where I went insane. 

But I love this house the most even though it's where I lived when I was injured because it's also the place where I got well. 

PTSD without self-loathing beats self-loathing any day.


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