Tuesday, January 09, 2018

Sharted in the shower

I didn't mean to—I don't think anyone consciously does unless it's for art, sex or both—but I filled the shower with the horrid smell of wet shit as it came out.

I cleaned myself, dried, then with a still damp bum went to the toilet and dropped the rest. 

Then I went back to the shower to get really, super clean. I to make sure there was no me left on the tiles of the shower well. I moved the head back and forth to really wash out the corners. 

A shart in the shower is no way to start a day; actually sharting any time or place is no way to start anything.

Later, as I let the adult chickens out of their fox proof sleeping cage, I found a thumb-sized rubber Darth Vader head. It had nothing to do with my sharting but it was a weird thing to find in your chicken pen.

Sometimes a day will start like that; with a shart and the find of a strange toy in an unusual place. If I believed in the rule of threes then the day will end with my alien abduction or passing out for whatever reason. 

Oh, universe, you do tease me so with your happenings.

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