Sunday, December 17, 2017

Adventure backed by "Yakety Sax"

With thanks to YouTube.

I have a womb-deformed skeleton that left me with short fingers, double-jointed little fingers and a poor grasp. Combining that with injury, medication and PTSD means I'm left with a normative state of fingers with a fine tremble and difficulty manipulating objects.

I was sitting in the semi-dark of my room attempting to open a Christmas card envelope when theboy, playing a side-scrolling game, clicked the formerly mobile toy Xmas tree that blares out "Yakety Sax". The tree used to run around but it had an accident—it owed theboy money I think—and its leg got broken. An attempted fix restored the leg but not the ability to run. So it just threshes about on its face or back as the music sallies forth.

So thus begun my "adventure with an everyday object"—Can he? Will he? Won't he?—where I attempt to do something a normal person can do with ease but turns into an adventure for me. Only this time it was backed with the theme to The Benny Hill Show.  

It was funny; I laughed in the dim of the room as I fumbled at the seams and tried to land a nail edge on a flap lip to do a starter tear for the full rip open. 

I got the envelope open by the time the tree stopped bleating—it plays two runs of the song's core—but I don't think I got the card out in time as well. 

If I had then I'd be up there with someone who's assisted by another in a spangly costume. 

That's an SNL sketch I'd like to see; a magician with PTSD still grimly attempting the trade but fails because of loud noises, trembling hands and a laughing kid that cooks him off at the end of the bit. 

Fucking hilarious; watch this man's dignity disappear...

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