Thursday, October 12, 2017


I had two days of EMDR treatment for PTSD and it helped change the memory of recent attacks from initially recalling the terror I felt to the Zen of recognising and dealing with the attack. The memory had been re-framed as a positive; that I had an attack but I had got through it.

We talked about where next and I have another session soon. It's not as intense as exposure therapy which sounds challenging but it is still emotionally draining. There's a lot of high emotion and angry tears.

She said I'm a survivor and my issue is safety; I feel unsafe and if others are unsafe I have to care for them too. I cannot walk past something I can fix.

I have a life mission; I didn't choose it, it just happened.

But it's a mission well worth fighting for.


UPDATE: So far the only enhanced effect to my utility belt of a failed body is increased hand tremour and difficulty holding objects. I didn't have to have valium and I'm not spacing out. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? Will this still be here or gone or now with friends like hair-trigger fight flight? At least I am in the safest of places and surrounded with love. That will help keep the worst of it at bay.

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