Saturday, March 11, 2017

Hitler bloat and leg egg

I'm still enduring IBS and gas pain, a situation I've decided to call "Hitler bloat" since that nasty little git suffered the same as me. It's funny since it means he was both figuratively and literally full of shit. I've also got a leg egg, a swollen lump of trapped fluid on my thigh that I get now and then and which suffers on contact with the rub of undies against lump when I move.

What a double burst of joy; swollen in gut and in thigh.

But whenever this body yuck strikes and I gripe then ego defence kicks in, laughing, and reminds me I should be dead from my dozens of near mortal moments.

Both Hitler and Saddam thought they were divine; literally beyond normal man because of their close calls and astonishing success and presumed a higher power assured their safety and rise. 

I am bereft of megalomania and belief in the supernaturalbut even I am spooked by my still here-ism in spite of attempts otherwise.

Better Hitler bloat and leg egg than dead.

Now that's a disturbing motto; I can't see it appearing on a tea towel any time soon.

Anyway, Hitler bloat and leg egg; what will my body think of next?

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