Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Not a burden even when I am

I had another raging grief out and went to walk it off, out in the rain and lost in pain. As I walked I reflected how my injury puts a burden on those around me because they have to deal with its symptoms—a fierce susceptibility to sudden noise and occasional irrational outbursts to cite but two. 

As I walked I recalled the worst thing you can do is to think yourself a burden—even when you are. Yes, I am a burden; but no, it's not my fault—I was injured. Even if I wasn't injured and got sick some other way, still not a burden—even though I am—because my weal outweighs my woe.

In other words I come with benefits—lots of them—and my life-wake is a fucking sunset with all the awesome power of the universe on display. 

And those benefits will always outweigh the burdens.

So you can be both, psychologically injured, a burden and a benefit. Do not ever forget that. Especially when the darkness tears at your soul. 

I had to yell that into the rain—that I am not a burden; that my deeds make me great—and force myself to hear it from my own lips. To drive the message home to thwart the dark.

And it worked.


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