Monday, November 14, 2016

Wobbled but did not fall

Part of my job is reading media reports and articles.

This morning I read articles littered with triggers. I realised the impact when I went for a walk and I had dread settle in me. As I cut through the ground floor of a building tears built and leaked by the time I made it out the far door.

I passed a friend who saw me and asked how I was then she saw the distress evident.

We sat for 20 as we talked it out as I cried and as she gently turned the focus to how well I am doing and what I focus on to stay well.

I gathered myself and marched back into work. I kept my meeting, had no anxiety during it, and stayed the full day despite the raging grief out.

That's how fucking resilient I am. That I can have a wobble, an anguished cry and kvetch, but still return to my my post and excel. 

The hottest fires make the hardest steel—and I'm hard as fuck.


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