Thursday, October 06, 2016

Offer accepted and later one minor discomfort experienced

Even though it was cold as fuck and that I have flat feet and one remaining natural hip I "accepted the offer" and went down a water slide. 

Holy crap it was cold. 

I immediately left the water slide and went into the indoor heated pool to recover. 

I saw what looked like a bandaid clinging to a step under the water. As a good citizen I picked it up.

Well, tried to. It came apart in my fingers.

For it was not a bandaid—it was poo. Yes, a small stalagmite of poo clinging to the second step, under the water. 

I recoiled once I realised what happened, got out, then with towel around stout, wet body marched to the front desk to let them know.

They came in and cleaned it pretty quick.

I made nearly the whole time away without an anxiety attack. Then, just twenty metres from the exit on the way home, I checked my phone to see missed calls. 

It slipped straight past me and I didn't expect it—I had an anxiety attack with dread and pooling tears.

I slept it off until we had an emergency break for a post-vomit clean that included attacks by giant ants—since we'd stopped on their nest when we pulled over. Then, after we drove away from there, so we could continue the clean without the ants some bizarre leech monster wriggled along the ground for thewife, its top half reared to strike her ankle as it pushed its arse along the dirt.

theboy saw it and fortunately it did not strike.

The anxiety flush from the missed calls meant emails to be checked; but I had to send thewife in ahead of me to make sure no nasties were there. Before she'd got to it I scanned to see if the eighth ping "why?!" had come back, and it hadn't, and then I had another attack hit of wrenching loss and failure. 

I ended up in the shed crying, gibbering, trying to steady myself to emerge to unload the car and deal with things. I had two Valium as well. 

The break was awesome; the park was awesome. The poo pinch and the unfortunate series of events on the way home for theboy (vomit, ants), thewife (vomit, ants, the death leech) and me (ants, anxiety) were just speckles of yuck in yet another successful mission of R&R on the south coast of NSW. 

The future is still bright and I have actions ahead. That is what I will focus on, not the fails on the way. 

For there will always be fails on the way. The trick is to keep going.

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