Tuesday, July 05, 2016

I H8 Air Brakes

I was standing at the bus stop awaiting the next connection, having missed the mark by three minutes, when a bus went past me. 

All normal; nothing to be alarmed about.

Then it hit its air brakes and it hit them hard; at least, that's what it seemed to me.

The sudden noise of the air brakes shot through my brain and body leaving trembling shock in its wake. Without any logical reason but purely on instinct I went into fight (slash) flight.

I stood there, both hands clutching my umbrella, as the wave of panic flooded my nervous system and I started crying. I made "ooo" noises and I cried.

I stayed in a ready position, double handed death grip on brolly, and didn't stop crying until I reached my desk.

Even though I knew it was a reaction to a sudden noise, and that I was okay, my body and hidden mind did not. It took 20 minutes to calm and it needed assist from Valium. Then I lost myself in work and stayed the day.

My fox pod buds were across my condition; it's not an uncommon sight for me to roll up, tears flowing. It's all part of the delicious journey that is recovery from psychological injury.

It's a fucked journey; there are many fucked moments in it. Today's was a splendid example of just how fucked it can be.

But it's still just a journey and that means there's an end.


No comments:

Post a Comment

No comments needed, really.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.