Friday, June 03, 2016

Rat Assassin

We downloaded an audio version of The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents by the late great Terry P and listened to it. thewife and I heard it in the car together to and from work and theboy listened to it at night. 

On a recent Ikea run theboy got some plushie rats that looked like characters from the book—Hamnpork, Dangerous Beans, Peaches and Darktan.

I threw the largest at him—Hamnpork—and yelled "Rat assassin!" or something like that, implying that if you got hit by one of the rat plushies you'd been assassinated. Like in laser tag but instead of a beam of light it's a soft, Swedish-induced plushie rat.

I got him, then he got me back. I am middle-aged, mobility impaired and bend with difficulty. He is young, short and muscular. He danced around me chucking the rat to hit me, darted in to get the rat, then chucked it again. I could not stop him or get to the rat so he did it again and again. I ended up huddled in a corridor end of his door and that of the laundry as he pelted me over and over with Hamnpork.

"I give up," I pleaded, "you win Rat Assassin. Please, no more." (1) He only left me alone when thewife called him to heel and he went dancing off to the living room in victory.

My brain starts fights my body cannot finish. 

Stupid brain.

(1) The game now named "Rat Assassin"  means it it is named and is thus I use title case. I forget why that should be. Wait, it's a proper noun. I knew I'd get there.  

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