Saturday, January 23, 2016

Dr Evil chair finally dead

The Dr Evil chair has lived in the shed since 2013 when I needed a seat for the old desk belonging to a former inhabitant of our house, the desk being where my laptop sits.

The chair keeps sinking. I flipped it over and saw there's a great, livid crack running down the shaft (1). So no matter if you pull the lever to lift the chair to your preferred height once you sit upon the chair it sinks back down almost, as it felt yesterday, lower than it can physically go. I yelled at the chair as it slowly sank asking if it was taking me on a journey to the centre of the fucking earth. 

It did not reply save to go as low as it can, like it was in a limbo contest.

Probs wept. So it's time for the Dr Evil chair to go into a skip and for me to get a new and improved Dr Evil chair. 

New and improved Dr Evil chair? I like the sound of that. 

UPDATE: Dr Evil chair rolled to skip. Old solid wooden chair that's still damp from months of exposure to the elements has been bought in as a replacement. There's no more relaxing at the laptop. I have to keep a private school boy seat posture in this fucker. I shall henceforth call this chair "The Drowned Chair" like it belongs to that messed up sea god priesthood from Game of Thrones who, in the books, ritually drown aspirants then resuscitate them with CPR. Those that stay dead obviously lacking the sea god's favour. 

UPDATE2: The Drowned Chair had to be swapped out with one of the three others because the backrest was tilted and jabbed into your back if you leaned back. This one has most of its varnish peeled away from months outside in the sun and rain. I won't be able to sit on this bad boy without pants. Not that I ever did; that's nasty.  

(1) Shaft!

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