Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Bed shart

I woke about 9 am then sharted. I was naked. I had to then shower myself clean, get dressed, strip the bed, find the stains, put washing liquid on said stains and throw it all in the wash. 

It's a bit ignominious to be 40+ and shit your own bed—well, shart, But I guess my IBS was in flare and decided to give me a little aftertaste with the bed shart. I didn't eat anything bad so perhaps it was the nightmares I had before waking and the previous day's painful introspection. 

Ha! My memories and dreams are so bad they literally give me the bed shits. I don't know why I am gloating. Who am I competing against for "worst mental injury"? Myself, it seems.

I felt weak and useless when it happened and I had to clean myself up. But then I remembered I am mostly ambulatory and can clean myself up and my bedding—there are literally hundreds and thousands of Australians who don't even have that capacity. I can imagine what it's like to have soiled yourself then have to sit waiting for someone to help you—and how degrading that must feel, even if you're accepting of your body.

So I sharted the bed. But, guess what? Still here, still mobile and still soon back to work.


UPDATE: It happened again, bust this time I was prepared—undies and PJ pants. Didn't get through the first layer, either. Nice try, nightmare-spawned bed sharts. 

UPDATE2: I took the bus to and from the shops. When I got in I was sweaty, shaking and nauseous. I dry retched for 10 minutes until I finally threw up bile. I stayed swaying, swimming in sweat, blind because I can't throw up without risking my glasses sliding off and into the toilet, waiting for the nausea to pass. The toilet button was stuck and I had to get a knife to lever it back up. I had a shower, shivering in the heat, then dried enough to lie on the big bed to recover. So it may have been a bug, not just anxiety-spawned unpleasantness. Or maybe both. Anxiety exacerbates my IBS and my fibro; so it's not a reach to think it can induce or exacerbate nausea too. Stupid injury.

UPDATE3: Next morning it happened again, but again only one layer taken out. Then it happened in the shower. Then I had some pills and it seems to have stopped. For now... 

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