Sunday, January 17, 2016

Area man awarded by bee community; safe wafting

Canberra, Australia: Area Man, Mr X, was awarded today by the bee community for his recent safe wafting of a bee to safety from inside his shed where there was both no pollen and, with the door closed, no means for the bee to egress the shed.

"I saw her dilemma," said Mr X, correctly identifying that worker bees are sterile females, "and leaped into action. I braced open the door of my shed then used a yellow number plate NO ENTRY sign to gently waft the bee to freedom."

The bee, #456788-990-4, was overheard to say at the ceremony that actually it was terrifying to be advanced upon by a half-naked human waving a giant air-disrupting rectangle of yellowblack but in the interests of bee-human relations the elder bees tried to spin it into a positive moment.

"The bee being wafted to freedom was a sign diplomacy is working," said Spokesbee #122999-899-5 after presenting the award, "and we will ensure that our bees don't stray into Mr X's shed in the future."

"I love the bees," said Mr X, "and they love me."

"Remember," Mr X added, somewhat cryptically, "free the bees."

 #456788-990-4 later remarked it was both an unusual and ominous statement because bees worked collectively and a lone "free" bee was in fact seriously mentally ill and a likely indicator of potential colony collapse disorder.

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