Thursday, November 19, 2015

Books won't fit back in my Game of Thrones box

Game of Thrones is the best fantasy adaptation in the history of television—and the books rawk too.

I bought the boxed set when it was on sale, having bought the first three but lost or lent them away. I am reading up to where the TV series is so I don't spoil it for myself—though the plot has diverged and some characters differ or have merged

But the books won't fit back in the box. Why? Because I abuse books. I don't mean to, it's just that the way I have to read lying in bed means I bend the cover back, and I always bookmark by turning a page. So the covers get buckled and puckered and that means they won't snuggly slide into the box.

It was on trying to slide the books in I discovered there was a map of Westeros in the box. So I put the map up in the toilet, blue-tacked over the top of a laminated "what's that dinosaur?" poster, so I can gaze with wonderment at the map whilst I am on the shitter.

I did that today—taking in the map as I birthed yet another anxiety puddle, a side-effect from the recent spike of the past few weeks. 

As a child trapped in an all boy's private school and unable to do sport due to a fucked-up body which appeared to be a lazy fatty to the unobservant eye I spent most of my free time in the library. My favourite reference book was an encyclopaedia of fantasy lands from across literature complete with maps of cities or countries within. 

It was magical and transported me into another place where things like an inability to throw a ball or run were not held against you. I sure as fuck I'd be a wizard in just such a place because I am smart, I read books and then I could magic missile that fuckwit gym teacher I had who modelled his facial hair after tennis legend John Newcombe. 

So fantasy maps transport back into that safe place I lived in as a child, wondering at worlds of fantasy and wishing I was part of it.

And I wouldn't have found the map were it not for my buckled books.

Take that, former librarian who called me "the manipulator".

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