theBoy is having an early spaghetti dinner. That means he has an early bath. I've run it for him and it awaits his presence.
As the bath was filling I ducked into the end room and ferreted through the odds-and-sods stationary drawer—filled with the detritus of two public servants who moved several different times. I grabbed a post-it note and a black pen and got to work crafting his appearance concealer.
The Fat Controller is now on the shelf to the upper right of the sink, a fashionable false beard protecting his identity!
UPDATE: It was three seconds—'There he is! He's got a false beard!'
He made me drop the false beard down the drain. He found it disquieting.