I have a new ogre in my corner. My corner of crap! And this ogre's name is Vitamin D deficiency.
I know. Hilarious. Just fucking hilarious. I feel like utter shit because the D-man, he absent, y'all.
So why absent, oh D-man? Why, indeed. The culprit, dear me, lies within. Within my bones.
I used to walk everyday, without fail (1). I used to jog sometimes too. Once I even ran like two kays without stopping, even as the pain ate me from the inside.
But then I discovered all that walking had done was simply fade away what little bone-connecting goodness I had left and that it even meant a fucking hip operation.
And that meant the end of walking. Instead I ride an exercise bike, a chirpy little fellow named young master Teepeecee. His mother, bless her, a widow left me her son in my care. So that I may make him a man. A man that others could look at to say 'hey, now that's a man—a man's man!'. Apparently the force on my mass exits out my rectal blow hole (i.e. south between me legs) and not through my legs and thus seated exercise will not wear away the last hiss of my right-hand hip.
No more walking meant no more being outside. And that meant no sun. And the sun, it helps begat the D-man (2).
Even though I can't walk outside any more it doesn't mean I can't get some sun. I used to eat lunch at my workstation but I don't like to do that now. I'm all cinched in and I get the heebies about people watching me. So I eat outside. Usually at a table in the courtyard next to our building, or sometimes at the cafe where I've gone and bought lunch.
It's been a Zen-like experience lunching alone outside. I get to eat something nice, wash it down with a diet coke, and read a longform.org article on my loaner iPhone by way of entertainment.
On days when it rains then I huddle beneath the short lip of the building's roof, shivering as I mind-switch into a podcast as I eat, the steaming plate or bowl held close to my mouth and out of the wind and water.
I do miss lunching with friends. I loved hanging with the lads back in the old office complex where I worked, going for lunchtime walks while we laughed about this and that, then going to the complex's cafe for lunch, hanging shit on the various characters that staffed the place; Grumpy, the Pirate, Hot Girl, and so forth. But when I moved complexes three years ago then I knew no-one over there and didn't wish to impose on (or be imposed by) the herd who all had lunch together.
Anyway, the rays thing. So I'm taking Vitamin D supplements but apparently 15 minutes sun a day is also a good thing to do. It's been nice enough. And I never really liked being outside before because if I was then I was huffing and puffing like a steamy pudding on my pain-etched guilt-walking I forced my brittle-boned body to endure day in and day out.
Just me, outside, locked in a world of good food, diet coke, and e-entertainment.
That's pretty sweet. Suck it, haters!
(1) Well, the one time but the day in question had had a lot of incidental walking so I felt at the time in counted.