Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Defect notice served

The setting was a chocolate shop. I imagine some sort of Parisian (slash) English High Street narrow-waisted building. theBoy was making chocolates and various Storyverse characters nearly spilled crap into the chocolate machine. A machine only he trusted himself to use because everyone else was so careless near it. Synybatbat nearly dropped three fish in it before theBoy eventually booted him out of the shop. Then Synybatbat disguised himself as Santa Claus and rang the door bell. I told theBoy that on the monitor he could see a ‘hooded, bearded figure’. The figure then asked for entry, which resulted in me impersonating Synybatbat impersonating Santa Claus (1). theBoy blithely let him in. So Synybatbat was straight off to the gantry above the machine, fish ready for the drop when theBoy tackled him. I said the false beard came off and flew into the machine but theBoy didn’t like that, ran over, and fiercely pounded me in the ankle joint with his fist. He immediately apologised. I gave him a face-saver and allowed him to snag the false beard with a plastic net before it went in.

Anyway eventually chocolates were made; an egg, a rabbit, and a robot chicken. The robot chicken was really meant to be just a chicken but I pretended to mishear and said robot chicken, then kept repeating it. Thus it had entered play and he could no long change it under our rules without a negotiation. Anyway he decided to give the chocolate robot chicken to Robot and Robot sliced it into tiny cubes with a laser then dropped the lot down a sluice into its body. ‘YUMMY’ blared Robot.

So the Robot had extra energy and offered to do chores for theBoy. It made his bed … into a wardrobe! Unfortunately the construction was a one way process and the result was no more bed. theBoy was cross, went and got a new one. The Robot asked if theBoy wanted it made into a wardrobe and theBoy said no. The Robot then promptly tuned the bed into a wardrobe, evidently having misunderstood theBoy’s response.

theBoy thought about it for a moment.

‘I pull out my PLODE! gun and I shoot the Robot! And he blows into bits! And the ice cubes of chocolate fall out!’

I then collapsed into a fit of giggles as he ran back and forth like a smirk-train trilling at the superiority of his wit.

(1) Which is almost Python-esq. I forget where I read it but my favourite quote about the essence of Monty Python in full display was the stoning scene in The Life of Brian where women, played by the Python guys, who were not allowed to be at the stoning and thus were in disguise as men. So in other words they were men pretending to be women pretending to be men. That’s champagne comedy!

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