Clinton Funt, spokesman for the Australian Organisation for the Prevention of Groinal Cruelty, or AOPGC, has issued a demand that sexy sirens Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel, both newly-separated from their former partners, get it on and get it on now.
'Kisses, tender exploration through to "strap it on, I'm going in"; we don't care what it is as long as something of a sexual nature happens between these two and happens immediately.'
Clinton Funt said that not only can Perry can finally live out her dream of 'kissing a girl' but that it's Perry and Deschanel's chance to 'give something back' to their fans and to help others fiscally in addition to the obvious groinal assistance.
'Look, Bangelina, when they popped out natural number four out of their blended legs-eleven of children birthed and acquired sold the rights of their birthing for millions and gave it all to the children. Other children, you know, orphans and shit. So this is their chance to not only prevent groinal cruelty but make money for the children. Won't someone think of the children? I confess I am not. I am actually thinking of Katy licking the hollow of Zoey's neck then her bright eyes appearing to gaze deeply into Zoey's eyes as then, by some unspoken shared thought, they kiss tenderly and deeply as Katy's slim hand comes up to mould Zooey's breast. And I bet I'm not the only one!'
'These ladies have a duty and expectation that they will have at least one sexy encounter and that it will be recorded in film, preferably 3D,' said Mr Funt.
An apology was then given out to all the overly hopeful people who had the same idea and did a Google search for Katie Perry and Zoey Deschanel and strap on.
Previous AOPGC Announcements