Sunday, October 23, 2011

If I was on twitter...

I'm not on Twitter. Nor am I on Facebook. This blog pretty much is it for social media. Apart, that is, from push mechanisms like email or texts.

But, as snobby as I am, I do semi-tweet in a slight sense in that sometimes I will craft what I think is a particularly humorous text and want to ping it to as many people as possible, factoring in their current circumstances.

Like this recent effort in describing a ride at a community event.

'The jumping castle is called "kiddie ____". It looks like a pederastic [sic] lure crafted by hill people.'

It was such a self-admired effort that powered some delicate ego tickling of fancies that yes, I did pump it out to more than one person, in slightly altered batches depending on the audience. For the fifteen odd people I pinged ... I got three replies. Which was kewl.

Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there to get a crowd.

Oh, note to self. If at a community event day and, as you are prone to do, are critiquing the grammar of a sign, in this case 'every child player wins a prize' (1), don't do it in front of the sign's owner. They will say things like 'yeah ... we hear that a lot' or 'you're not the first person to have said that' or 'get fucked you bearded balloon.'

There's no comeback to that (2).

The sign in question belonged to the laughing clowns. Casso's herBoy was attempting to play the game but getting steadily more fearful. Largely, I suspect, because of the many laughing clowns.

The clowns' master decided he could help alleviate herBoy's readily apparent dislike of creepy animatronic open-mouthed clowns by performing a crude attempt at aversion therapy.

He pulled one of the clown's heads off, leaving its spinal-cord-like-pole thrust upward, to twist back and forth courtesy of the clockwork entrails.

'See?' he said, 'nothing to be scared of.'

Child ... un-aversion therapy'ed ... and almost certainly now more fearful of clowns; laughing or otherwise.

(1) As in if someone plays a child ... do they get a prize?
(2) The last wasn't actually said but the owner was somewhat miffed and I could imagine he was thinking it.


  1. Yeah, that was less than successful. The only upside is that myBoy didn't have any clown-related nightmares during his nap, and woke up talking about the animals he saw instead. So hopefully he's not scarred for life...

  2. Maybe it's one of those utterly suppressed memories that will come out in a dramatic fashion a clown taps him on the shoulder just as HerBoy picked up that nail gun...


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