Wednesday, August 31, 2011

theBoy recieves a lesson on intimidation through the medium of toys

theBoy had a bit of a Bumblebee™ birthday this year. In addition to a Bumblebee™ costume he received two Bumblebee™ cars that semi-transform into a robot. Bumblebee™ sometimes appears in Humpty and Stumpty time (1) as well, such as a recent Humpty and Stumpty outing in a Transformers-as-the-characters reenactment of a scene from Picnic at Hanging Rock ('Miranda! Miranda! cried Optimus Prime™ as he stripped of his camisole...).

In a recent daddy-theBoy toy play time I decided that Bumblebee™ wanted a name change; 'Bumblebee™ is such an effeminate wimp name! Call me The Wasp™'.

theBoy, naturally, took this on as a challenge. 'Bumblebee™, Bumblebee™, Bumblebee™, Bumblebee™' he chanted, pointing at the toy.

The Wasp™
tried to get theBoy, with daddy lamely attempting to brush at him with the partially extended arm of the robot, theBoy simply stepping out of reach and rendering me ineffectual. Like when tall bullies would keep me from striking their bodies through application of their palm to my forehead.

'The Wasp™ will get you back, Chooky,' I said gravely. 'You won't know the time. You won't know the place. But he will get you. What's that? Oh, he said he will get you tomorrow. But you won't know the time.'

theBoy just stood there through-out, watching me with a half-smile of 'what the fuck?!' on his face.

At that point the daddy-theBoy toy play ended. He went and got a set of less-intimidatory blocks and played with them instead.

In retrospect that daddy move was probably a parental fail.

Real time real life update: I am blogging. theWife is sifting through Facebook on her iPhone. theBoy is playing with his 'aren't mean to me' blocks and watching Aladdin on our ALDI-sourced Chinese flat-screen TV. Noice. theWife's recent freak on and lounge re-arrange has given us tremendous space for activities. It's also heaps more comfortable to use the laptop and watch TV and play with theBoy at his big blue cover table. It's awesome.

theBoy just came back from going to the toilet. He turned around to show us he hadn't pulled his pants up all the way and thus mooned us.

Classy move. Classy.

Post Update: theBoy came into range just as Aladdin ended. I retrieved
The Wasp™ from behind my arse then jabbed the toy repeatedly at theBoy's left butt cheek. 'There you go, Chooky! He got you. Now you don't have to worry.' I then held up The Wasp™. 'Now,' I said. 'What's his name?'. theBoy smiled and took three steps back. 'Bumblebee™' he whispered.


(1) Oh look it up through the search window. Top-left of screen.


  1. You, sir, have been pwned.

  2. So far on the pwnage count he's about 120 wins ahead of me.

    I've created a monster!


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