I had just lowered my naked buttocks onto the toilet seat when I heard a loud BZZZZZZZZT.
It almost scared the shit out of me.
For a few seconds I was convinced someone had booby-trapped the toilet with a weight-triggered joke buzzer. Fortunately I didn't go uber paranoid and assume it was something worse.
But then the buzz happened again and it was almost immediately followed by a crackling speaker voice of ‘this is a test of the emergency warning system…’
Naturally when I completed my business I had to run off and tell people all about my momentary fecal fear.
Later TLR sent me a word-art pic of a poo he’d just done. It looked like a submarine floating upside down like a dead fish.