Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Ignominy of Channel Surf

You know what, I have to say, I may be heavily medicated right now ... but that is an awesome title. It could be on a bodice-ripper, a political cold-war thriller with the infamous reversed-hammer and sickle (1), or an enigmatic present tense first person stream of consciousness way-back machine effort.

On with the tale.

I was on story-patrol with the noodles. He gets four stories at night - about 15-20 minutes- before bed. He gets to choose, within reason.

He started with Baby Brains and Robomum (2). Except ... four pages in, though admittedly I was doing my Henry Kissinger as seen on the Simpsons ("No one must know I dropped my glasses in the toilet ... I who drafted the Paris Peace-Accord") voice, he slid off the chair and plodded over to get a different book.

'This one!' he cried, thrusting it forward.

It was the story about Wendel the mouse-inventor (3). It too is a good book, though there's a somewhat glaring typo in it ('shoot' instead of 'chute'). I got to the end of that book, only after lengthening it from my irritating habit of changing the character's name to a Dr Seuss effort to see if he will notice and correct me ("No, is not Horton ... is Wendel!").

He went for the Usborne Understanding Dogs book again. I said 'I'll read a page of it as the story' (because it's quite dense text) then opened it up ... to the pages on birth and pic panel two actually showed a dog, pointing its vagina forward and to the left, popping out a birth capsule of a puppy-in-a-placenta that looked like a fat brown sausage (4). But ... instead of reading that with me he shouted 'Mummy' and 'Mummy do it!' and 'Mummy's turn' ending with 'Mummy do stories.'

He then slid off the chair again and ran down the corridor shouting 'Mummy! Stories! Now!' (5).

So ... not only did he channel surf stories ... he tried to channel surf story-tellers...

No dice. He was flipped back to me but mollified by one of my Russell from Up has a random adventure stories (6).

(1) Ben Elton joke I think
(2) The Baby Brains books are good. Love the illustrations and they're both entertaining and not too long. Totally worth it for story time.
(3) Did I get that right? By adding the hyphen I am indicating he is a mouse who is an inventor as opposed to without it then it would be an inventor of mice?
(4) I am more than half tempted to scan it in and show the world what passes for pics of a dog's birth circa late 1970s.
(5) In other words like Father Jack...
(6) Later, when in bed, he shouted out that he hadn't given me a kiss. I heard through the door so swaggered in. He got up and gave me a wet lip-smacker. As he curled up he said contentedly 'I kissed Daddy ... we got it right!'. We laughed at that and theBoy, hearing that, then rapidly kept repeating 'We got it right.' I kept yelling 'go out on a high note!' but to no avail.


  1. Sorry, but I can't see it as the title of a bodice-ripper.


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