Friday, December 24, 2010


I expect to hear the call for dinner any second. Well, Xmas eve - or Wobs in my case. Lots of shopping downtown. It seemed endless. Carparks full as and me convinced someone was going to clip us.

In hometown for Wobs. Worried I'd run into people I knew from long ago. Got passed by S. She was one of the "hot girls" of my undergrad uni hanging out area. She ended up massively sick with a poo-bag on her side. She had cropped dyed hair. She was still the same build as she was back then. She didn't stop. Thank god.

Bought Icewind Dale + all and Baldurs + all for use on the laptop. The versions on the tower have too many patches etc added to try and install again there. Hooray! I talked nerd with the salesman. He looked a lot like me 20 years younger but with a ponytail restored as opposed to my Friar Tuckness.

Spent the afternoon attempting to reset my parents' internet account password. They have a 2 gig plan - and there's eight internet using people in residence. I had to boost it.

It involved ... calling Telstra ... pretending to be my dad ... the Indian IT dude was not convinced and asked to speak to my memory ailing mother as the account holder ... she scootering in ... me asking her to tell the IT dude to let me organise things ... her rapidfiring giving her DOB - and I was panicked she'd not remember ... me resetting the modem ... me wanting to punch the computer in its bracket for not working right away ... me trying to log in and change the account details ... me nearly crying ... and all this with a mower outside, a screaming child and various other bits of audio bric-a-brac.

Anyway, dinner's on. It was a stressy day.


Well ... it took me twenty minutes to eat my dinner, worried about food getting stuck and having to run off and yak it up. Earned a glowering apparently, according to my Niece, for using my finger to push the last of my red chicken curry and rice on to my fork. TheWife also copped one for mishandling of coriander or some such. Who knows? Of course I probably also got a glower for the following stream of consciousness commentary following one of the niece's suggesting we play Spongebob Bingo.

'We can play tomorrow ... strip bingo! ... I'll wear lots of clothes ... ladies bring your paper money ... no coins ... don't want my gusset to hang between my knees...'

Before we came up I had a big bitch to theWife about this still-being-parented crap. She did however force me to admit that I can and do say stuff that's borderline or even well-over-the-line knowing full well it will cause Sam-the-eagling from that end of the table to go the glower. So maybe I am being a bit of a prick with it all.

I told my brother about the glowering when we took the dog for a walk. He said as hard as it is to do that I should let it go because nothing I am ever going to do is to stop the glowering at me. He's right of course.

I did have a plan of drawing my age in numerals on a piece of paper handing it over and ask him to read it so he gets the idea that I am old enough to make my own choices on manners, consumption of food and drink, topics I am interested in and the way I raise my own child. But that's just causing a bunch of stress added on. I was half tempted to blow off seeing him perform in the local choir - as in why should I support what he does when he treats me like a fucking child all the time but well what are you going to do? Maybe he likes it when we go along. Maybe he doesn't really care. Still, I said I'd go.

We're heading to a local pub before hand. I'm not going to drink. Three years ago there was a massive electrical storm during the night service and I'd had about six beers. I kept having to nip out in the thunderstorm - and the crackle of lightning and boom of thunder kind up lit up the knave and made my coming and goings nicely noticed by the rest of the congregation - find a tree and have a surreptitious wee outside.

That and I had two glasses of sparking red wine last night - sculling them 'cos I am a wimp on sipping stuff that isn't sweet - and I bottom burped like a trooper. The last thing I need is a balloon-stomach full of arse wind that's going to potentially trumpets-of-the-lord out my pants at the midnight service.

TheBoy has been doing really well. Hardly any accidents. He loves his cousins to death which can make it hard to wrangle him. He's also discovered the giggling joy of running off with my hat and hiding it somewhere.

At night - as he snuggles on down in his nest in the corner of our room - I give him an extra-story as made up by Mikey. We mutually decided stories should star Russell from Up. So in this one Russell is playing in a car that gets balloons tied to it and an over-filled balloon carries him up, up, up into the air eventually he gets chased by an Ogre. At one point the car plus balloons is blown across the sea ... an isthmus in fact ... and I pause at that point and theNoo shouts "Isthmus!" with triumph. I bet that's the only kids' story with a fucking isthmus in it.

UPDATE: Someone pointed out the original text of 'getting blown in a car' when giving a precis of my copyright violating spoken-word Russell story sounded a tad sketchy so I changed it.


  1. Almost certainly...

    Hang in there, trooper.

  2. Anonymous9:41 AM

    " gets blown in a car on balloons"

    Perhaps....coulda been phrased better...or is this Russell as an 18 yro?


    I must admit, I do miss the Armidillo pubs.

  3. Suggestion noted!

    I tried to find an Asian themed restaurant that wasn't closed from now under mid-January.

    No luck.

    We had pizza.


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