Monday, October 04, 2010

Breaking bad - Mikey style

I have given myself an all over no 2 with the hand held curved clippers. I really ground it in because my hair was a tad long and I didn't want any stragglers. I already act like a mad scientist - I don't need to accentuate that behaviour with straggled upward standing tufts of hair.

After I carefully vacuumed the bathroom - cos no one wants to see little hairs all over the sink and floor - I got in the shower.

Hmm ... that stings a little ... especially when I put super medicated anti-dandruff shampoo on. Oh well.

So I get out, towel off, get on my girl's PJ bottoms (white butterflies on a blue background) and my ragged former work polo-shirt now sleeping shirt on account of the rips and tears - then went in to rub my near shaved scalp on theWife's arm protruding from the doonah.

'Um ... ' she said. 'You have red streaks on your head.'

She looked closer.

'Oh dear god,' she added.

Turns out gettin' my grind on with the clippers actually abraded the skin on my scalp. I am covered in reddened welts criss-crossing my head like I was the victim of a Sweeney Todd / Edward Scissor Hands combo (and, as irony would have it, all played by the same actor).

Also, to compliment the image, I have a large red welt - circular shaped - on my forehead which looks like an enlarged Tilak. Why? Cos I stuck a vacuum rubber bulb on my forehead as a joke for theNoo and left it on too long and giving myself a head hickey.

Lets hope the welts fade over night. Otherwise I will have to go the beanie and look like an overweight theEdge. And if I don't go the head coverage then I will look Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad. If, that is, a rival meth cook went at him with an electric sander.

Not sure what I will do about the Tilak if it's still there though ... Stage make-up? Cos I am fresh out.


  1. How did this work out in the end? Beanie and a dab of foundation procured from a chemist on the way to work? :p

  2. Wore my hat ... but undermined by sending a email around work advising them of an OH&S issue and using myself as an example. I heard people muttering that they didn't know what I was on about. However when I walked past boss +++ office he ran out and demanded to see my affliction.

    He laughed.

    He was right to do so!

    I am writing this Wednesday morning. It's still there.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Whoops; typo. Here's the comment again.

    And ... still there.

    Here's the text of the email I sent (apologies for typos)...

    No, don't worry, I'm not being painted by a laser-dot scope.

    We have this little open ended rubber ball that used to fit on the end of an intake syringe. We use it as a bath toy. If you squeeze it and stick the open end on your body and release it, thanks to the power of vacuum, it will stick. theBoy likes to stick it on my hands when he's in the bath then giggles when I react with mock horror.

    For some reason yesterday I decided to take it up a notch and stick it on my forehead and pretend not to see it. Lots of fun.

    Only ... it left a mark ... a head hickey if you will. I looks like a Tilak.

    So when I take my hat off don't recoil like I am a sideshow exhibit in a Victorian era sideshow.

    Carry on.

    OH&S Info: Don't stick vacuum bulbs on your forehead. It will leave a mark.


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