Sunday, July 04, 2010

Rough week

I spent all week trying to get reports out where they got held up for one reason or another.


Then old boss asked why one of the reports was being generated. I told him all the advantages of it and he still wasn't convinced. His knowledge of why these reports are being generated is not great ... so it was annoying he didn't accept my justification of it. I mean why have me around if you're not going to listen to me.

Then I got into a fight with L by my saying a certain Depression website sucked the wang because the backing dominant graphics was a bunch of smiling happy gregarious having-a-good-time pretty 20 somethings. I argued that to have a website about acute depression where the banner people were clearly not suffering depression was a fail. She said that just because you're good looking with loads of friends and smile lots doesn't mean you can't suffer depression. At no point did I say they couldn't - I just said the website art didn't reflect the depressive norm. Then she sent this fucked up email where she said my views were "troubling", CCing my boss, and then tried to deflect this unpleasantness by saying 'anyway, that's my view and that's all I have to say ... so, who is ready for the weekend?'

It really, really pissed me off ... given my personal experiences with acute depression I wanted to yell and rant and basically say 'when you're in that state you feel worthless - and if you saw a bunch of smiling happy fucking people who look all intents and purposes to be in an 80s cigarette commercial sans the cigs you are more likely to top yourself than less likely.'

But ... I let it go. As in I drafted about five replies, ranging from the 'you misunderstand me' through to 'fuck you, what the fuck would you know?!' ... but I didn't send them. I just left it - even if I have had recurring imaginary conversations where I riposted and did so with brutal efficiency. Just not worth it. I have to work with this person and even though she massively overstepped the line by sending that email, I'd only make matters worse responding.

I too made matters worse in that when L said 'Well what should they be doing in the photo?!' - as opposed to smiling - and I responded tartly - and I was annoyed - and said 'I dunno, wearing a noose?' ... At that point she said she'd lost a friend to suicide and that he'd hanged himself. Which I didn't know and I sure as hell wouldn't have said it otherwise had I known. Though admittedly it was still an insensitive and stupid thing to say.


And the new admin management system - while awesome - meant that certain people still grappling with it were reading old versions of documents, making edits, forcing me to go back and apply their edits to the new document.

Insanely irritating.

Still ... that's work for you. Work is something you have to do. If you're lucky you work with reasonable people and by and large they will support you when you need it. I have that most of the time so I can hardly gripe when I suffer a week where that doesn't happen like it should.

PS Here's a copy of the graphic from the site. You be the judge.

Left: Do these people look like they're on the edge of the abyss?


  1. Anonymous5:07 AM

    I don't want to see people of any sort – smiling or sad – on a depression website. Just give me the damned info and be done with it!

    L sounds like a douche.

  2. She's actually an awesome person and a great co-worker. This was an unusually strong reaction and I put it down I think to the fact she lost someone that way.

    It still pissed me off though.

  3. I had the same reaction from L in regards to orthotics. I made a jibe on her Facebook page about ensuring they were aligned to her starsign, otherwise they wouldn't work.

    She bit. Hard.

    I reminded her that without them, I couldn't actually walk.


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  6. That picture doesn't look appropriate at all to me. When I think of depression websites, I think of the close up of a serious-looking face. I think that's what a lot of them use.

    Does L know that you used to have depression? If not, that might also explain her insensitivity toward you.

  7. She can go hard on some things that's for sure.

    It all depends on the bee and the bonnet.

    Depression? Nah, she doesn't know. My bosses do though cos of the intervention I had with them.


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