Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Snakes alive

Well I had my meeting with the doc RE the snake. Interesting stuff. Turns out in addition to the runny kind and the stuffed kind there's the 'YARRRGHHH I want to die' kind of IBS sufferers ... which is me.

Indeed while I was there I tagged him for a script for pain killers. The kind I get is as strong as the normal codeine kind - which I can't have on account of its bunging qualities - but is script only. So any time I'm at the doc I get a refill because I know I will need that script.

The doc, bless his socks which are presumed to be 100% cotton, said 'I don't know how many repeats they allow with this ... I'll just write Max.'

I could have kissed him. No tongue - just a peck on the check - Greek style - but a kiss nonetheless. I hate asking for scripts for pain killers because I feel like my desire to be pain free is somehow being judged.

Anyhoo, I took my magic fucking script to the chemist to be filled. Dare I dream how much max meant? Five? Six even? Could it be that I could safely (and responsibly) manage my pain levels without having to see another doctor for some time?

Fairly trembling with excitement I returned to pick up my filled script.

'Um,' I said. 'Where's my repeats?'

The attractive kiwi chemist came down from on high. 'No, sorry, these don't have repeats,' she said. 'So we can only give you 20.'

'Well,' I said, through strained teeth. 'That is incredibly unhelpful.'

What I really wanted to do is pick up their sectioned off weight loss cubicle wall and batter them over the head with it.

The massively annoying and bizarre PBS (I presume) assigned fate of these pills is that if you get them in capsule form, as opposed to a solid pill, and the capsule having the exact same ingredients ... you can get them with repeats. But with the pill ... you have to number the number of pills on the script or they default to the standard box amount.

Seriously ... it boggles the fucking mind when it comes to differing treatments for the exact same medication.

However on a more delightful note, today I did play upon the porcelain flute and about 11 am shifted a great deal of product.

When you're on pain killers for constipation all it does really is make the pain slightly more bearable. But if you're able to go, vent your tubing as it were, then - for a couple of hours at least - you will be free of that pain. Free of bunged up pain ... but still under the effect of the pain killers.

You end up all floaty and smiley. Kind of like Mr Burns from the X files episode of The Simpsons.

'I bring you love...'

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