Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tally me bananas

I'm a singer. No, not a singer in a pleasing to an audience kind. The nonsense kind. I sing shit, make up silly ditties, or set new words to old music. Often this is prompted by something I've heard or read.

Whilst I was tooling down the Monaro highway, news came in that Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar, number two with a bullet in the Tally me bananas ranks, had been picked up.

There's this song where the nonsense words that arm up between the choruses go "da dee dahbi da" (no, not Blue).

A few seconds later my singin' brain kicked in with Mullah Bar-a-dar ... Mullah Bar-a-dar ... Mullah Bar-a-dar ... etc.

Which reminds me. Who assigns the Mullah status? With the pope it's a bunch of under 70's Cardinals armed with six doves, and some white smoke. With certain fundamentalist pentacostals it was by saying you were a minister, then going door to door recruiting possible parishioners from the neighbourhood and meeting in a high school cafeteria for five years as you built up the money to purchase your first purpose built church - with a 10 year plan to upgrade this to a mega effort with a giant carpark*.

Wiki, do you know?

Of course you do. So, there you go. Mullah status is assigned a variety of ways, depending on where you live, ranging from the pre-req of being learned scholarly trained cleric, through to someone who can read and write, has a hint of Islamic knowledge, and thus the less literate get them to do the theological stuff like funerals and weddings.

Have you wiki'ed today?

*For those people that subscribe to the theory of an interventionist God, Nick Cave style, where a divine being manifests power or directs natural occurrences to punish heretics, unbelievers, or the wicked, then the 2003 Canberra Bushfire must have been a shock to the system for some. Like many municipalities, Canberra dedicates space for faiths to build their facilities. In one of the fire ravaged suburbs, apocalyptic flames shot through a block of land that had three religious buildings on it - I believe a Pentecostal church, an Orthodox Christian church of some-kind, and a Synagogue.

Only the Synagogue survived, and with barely a scratch mark on it...


  1. The irony of the churches getting toasted and the synagog surviving wasn't lost on me either. Although I suspect the reason may have had something to do with the fact the synagog sits in the middle of a huge carpark, and the churches were surrounded by old and lovely gum trees.

    Maybe it's God's way of saying screw nature, we should just pave over it!

  2. Ha - that's a good point. In the states some of the fundamentalist churches embraced the environment as a cause people should worry about. But most still think it's a leftist plot - and point to the bit where God said the earth was man's to rape and plunder. Some even think it may advance the end times - the equiv of a man setting fire to his own house i suspect.


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