Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Discord in Wiggles camp - Jeff wakes up and he's not happy

The Wiggles Studio, Wiggle-town productions; In a surprise development today, Yellow 2.0, aka "Sam", was attacked today by an enraged Jeff when Sam suggested he also add Jeff's low-grade narcolepcy to his act.

Apparently Sam pitched the idea of him also being sleepy to the other Wiggles, with Jeff nodding off in his chair at the meeting, when the Purple wiggle abruptly awoke, stood, grabbed his chair and charged at Sam.

'Stop stealing EVERYTHING,' shouted Jeff as he smashed the fortunately thin plastic chair across Sam's torso. 'You sing, you dance, you tell the jokes. Narcolepsy is MINE!'

The humorous inability of Jeff, the Purple Wiggle, to sleep normally was allegedly introduced by the group at the start of their act because the wiggle couldn't act as well as the others. This way Jeff could basically assume a 'ready' position to enter when his part came up, but did not have to do anything or say anything between those moments.

Since Yellow 2.0 has taken over from the medically invalided former Yellow wiggle, Wiggle-viewers have noticed that Sam has assumed a dominant position within the group.

'Frankly he's the stand out of the four,' said noted music critic and weird hat wearer Glenn A Baker. 'He's the best singer, best actor, and - despite the other Wiggles being former professional musicians - the best performer. It's only natural there's some tension with this replacement. In many ways, he's the group's Yoko Ono figure for his divisive introduction to the groups' dynamic.'

Jeff was reported to have asked the former yellow wiggle to return to the group, and said that they can work around the Yellow wiggle's medical disability that means he cannot stand for long periods without suffering acute dizziness.

'We'll cosh that Hawking fucker for his chair and you can hoon around in that,' said a tearful Purple according to sources. 'We can re-arrange the choreography around your chair. Imagine scooting a bit to the left or to the right, up and down and to your knees?! We can do it!'

Sources said Jeff then wept into Yellow 1.0's lap for a long time, with the former yellow wiggle awkwardly patting Purple's hair in a soothing manner.

1 comment:

  1. You know, I was reading that, after just having been at smh.com.au and almost forgot that I'd changed websites...

    ReplyDelete