Monday, September 28, 2009

Dodgy daddy move redux

I've been a bit bunged up of late in the guts department. When that happens I mung pain killers and hope for the thar she blows to occur. Except ... it doesn't. What happens instead is I go to the toilet like a normal person would - only several times in the one day - when the peristalsis finally peristalsilizes.

In between these multiple toilet takes - and how much more fun would they be if I had a clapper dude with one of those boards wangle some info fore the shot in front of the stall before I dropped trou - I tend to fart lots. It's kind of like a butt triffle with layers of actual bowel movement and the air lovingly compressed between the next one.

Tonight, theNoo, being very cute, wanted kisses from his cot. He likes to press his melon against the bars and have me purse my full lips and smoosh them into the gap to lightly moisten his forehead.

It's all very cute.

It also involves bending down to his level.

So tonight I did that.

As I came up, Newtonian physics had a duet with Peristalsis and I farted. A great gush of fetid far air that powered out through my thin layer of PJ cloth.

Unfortunately for the Noo my butt was about level with his head when the fart came out.

I escaped from the room before he cried. Poor little fucker.

3 comments:

  1. Just fyi Mikey, you know that any paracetamol painkillers you take are only gonna clog you up worse? It's cumulative - so one dose is probs okay, but if you take them over a prolonged period (a day, for example) you will get good and blocked up by paracetamol... And I'm sure you already know that NSAIDs like nurofen or aspirin are bad for people like us too.

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  2. The pain killer I take is digesic so less paracetamol and the other active ingredient doesn't cause being egg-bound. It's still not ideal unfortunately.

    Stupid lack of pain killers which are awesome for people like us. Where's our hillbilly heroin?!

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  3. Iffin' you hold yer breath REAL hard, you kin see the aingels!

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