Saturday, August 22, 2009

Unmanly

When I was a kid on the weekends my Dad was always off doing some sort of hands on stuff around the house. Making stuff, repairing stuff, maintaining stuff and so forth. Or gardening. Or similar pursuits.

Me? I'd watch morning teev, loved Lost in Space, then while away the hours playing with toys in the attic above the garage or reading or playing solo D&D in my room.

Now ... I'm a dad. And I realised that I am desperately unmanly.

I can barely drive a manual (as in I could in an emergency, but I'd get a mechanic to check it afterward). I know not the mystery of tools (theWife does all that stuff), I suspect I have the upper body strength of a 12 year old, and I am crippled with various other unmanly attributes.

And I stand to pass this on to him.

So ... what do I do here? Do I hire some sort of surrogate father to come in and show him tools and shit? Does it matter? Why can't he Dial a Hubby when he's older to get a light bulb changed or kill that spider that's squatting over the drain hole?

Well for one his learned unmanly behaviour will make him less attractive to his chosen preference.

I am almost crippled by my unmanliness - I shouldn't visit the same horror on him. Maybe I should go and do a Tafe course on 'Introduction to a hammer; for hitting and pulling out nails'? Or attend one of those weekend self development wildman courses where you howl at the moon and bang drums and shit ("I like Sally Field").

Anyway, I'm unmanly, and so may be my son.

Poor little bastard.

3 comments:

  1. Nah. Buy him a book of basic household stuff. He'll work it out.

    My dad was never a big do-it-yourself guy. Very white-collar. But he'd borrow books from the library and teach himself how to do things when the need arose.

    It's how he learnt to pave the pergola, for one.

    And painting the house - a mate of his was a painter and the first time he got him to help him out. After that he did it himself.

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  2. Like when I have to look up basic instructions like 'how to turn on a gas oven' or 'how to fold down a pram' on the internet...

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  3. Ah don't worry. My dad is the ultimate DIYer. His shed had *everything*. He had great hopes for me when I was a toddler because I loved to 'help' in the shed, but then all of a sudden I lost interest and now I'm almost totally useless in that department. Admittedly I love the fact that Gam can do 'handyGam' type stuff, but I was well and truly hooked on him before I discovered how useful he is. Besides, I think it would be hypocritical for any woman to write off a guy based on a lack of a set of skills that they themselves do not possess- and even if that happened all the guy would be missing out on is a useless hypocrite.

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