Monday, August 24, 2009

Hard p0rn no fun without fireworks

The territories in Australia are fucked in the arse. Why? Because, while we may get a disproportionate amount of federal funding on a per capita basis, we don't get the same benefits as a state.

For example the Feds can override our laws - which Kevin "Won't someone please think of those undergoing palliative care" Andrews did when he led the charge against the NT's euthanasia laws and when Ruddock crueled the hopes of the gay community to have a ceremony that was akin to marriage when they joined with the person they were in love with. We also get diddled on the number of Senators. Tell me how its fair that erudite, educated Canberra gets two, and backwoods mountain folk Tasmania gets 12?


One of the minor pros in the one sided pros Vs cons list was that in the ACT, A) we could get ourselves some legal hard p0rn and B) we were trusted to use fireworks in a safe and entertaining manner.

Now it's just A). And it's a Clayton's fucking A since hard p0rn can be accessed in so many other ways nowadays.

Yes, fireworks have finally been banned in the ACT. Gone are the dizzying days of odd little temporary stalls spouting like weeds in abandoned shopfronts to offer for a limited time only bags of rocketeering fun that were made in factories in the third world with appalling safety standards.

I had to grit my teeth when the triumphant presumed God bothering animal lovers came onto the radio and trilled like a polly parrot that today was a good day for animals who got a bit PTSD when the bang bangs went off one to two times a year.

It seems that the ACT govt decided that Johnny Lunchpail, aka Mr John Q Public or Citizen depending on the ad graphic, was being watched for signs of sensible improvement lo these many years in regards to the handling and appropriate date use of said fireworks, and was found wanting.

Now ... just the NT is blessed with the ability to let off bangers in one's own yard.

On my first year in Canberra for a Queen's Birthday I got drunk and let off our store of fireworks whilst still holding them in my hand - and drunkenly laughed as the parachutes flamed onto my neighbour's fortunately tiled roof. And my being in a slightly downheel suburb means enduring window pane rattling kerthumps late at night for weeks after the firework sales as yobbo fucksticks, who presumably don't have young children who have issues with explosions going off, light off their dwindling supply in a nearby park.

So ... I may have started this rant seemingly on the side of liberty and roman candles for all, but I am not. Fireworks as used by punters are annoying, they're unsafe, and yes, Johnny Lunchpail is a massive fucking twat for his inconsiderate continued use after the designated periods and frankly I am glad to see the back end of them.

Case closed.

PS I will however miss having a firework fountain showering my lawn as I enjoy seeing pics of a different kind of shower, but hey, them's the breaks...

1 comment:

  1. I would like to thanks for the information about the fireworks for sale...

    ReplyDelete