Lifty Shenanigans

I've been driving the old car to work because it means I don't have to get up at sparrows to catch the bus. TheWife, ever knowing of such things, bought some oil to top it up since the old engine tends to chew through it.

This morning, after five minutes trying to find the catch the the bonnet and seriously contemplating going to the interweb and looking up my car model to see if someone could tell me where the fuck it was, I indeed topped up the oil after checking the dipstick.

Without thinking I put the piece of kitchen towel I used to clean the dipstick in my jumper pocket.

Later, S and I set out on a work mission. We were in the lift. S is a young muscular guy. He's pretty good looking as well. He's also cool and funny and I don't feel the need ... to destroy him.

Anyway I went to blow my nose as the lift descended and I pulled forth from my pocket the oil stained kitchen towel. It was to hand so I blew my nose, taking in a big oily whiff as I did so.

I'm not a macho man in any shape way or form. I eat Haloumi and can't drive a manual. I enjoy rom coms. I value ladies for their opinions and so forth.

So I told S about my oily double dipped snot rag and how oil was a manly odor - because you associate it with blue collar hands on fixing stuff and whatnot.

Then ... just as the doors opened and S walked out ... I added 'so ... I guess that's what a real man smells like.'

Yeah ... there was someone waiting for the lift as we strode out.

FAIL.