Jackson funeral plans announced

Freshly dead crazed celeb Michael Jackson will be interred in a miniature Neverland, sources for Jackson's agent said.

'Michael loved his Neverland,' said the source. 'It was where all the good things in his life happened. Climbing trees, riding a carousel, water balloon fights and ... er ... miscellaneous other.'

But, that's not all. Continuing in his obsession with all things epic, inside the ranch shaped mausoleum Jackson will be placed inside one of the many sarcophagi he purchased over the last few years.

'Jackson loved Ancient Egypt, which makes sense given, like the Pharoahs, he was a living god,' said the source.

But, the mummification process will not literally be applied to the singer since his nose won't allow ready access to the scraping hooks to penetrate his brain cavity and scrape out said organ.

Instead Jackson, who was reported to have been a big fan of the original StarWars series, has elected other means to wrap up his corpse.

'Michael loved that scene where Han cut open the tonton and shoved Luke inside it, the heat from the carcass' innards keeping the proto-Jedi safe in a cocoon of steaming organs. To that end he elected to be returned, womb like, to the bosom of the fat suit he wore as a practicing Jehovah's Witness when he prosthelytized in accordance with the strictures of his faith, and wore the suit to prevent himself being recognised on his door knocks,' said the source.

Jackson will also be marinated inside the suit in Jesus juice to ensure his pickled corpse remains intact for the coming centuries.