Me - 'I made you a valentine's present. But I can't show it to you.'
TheWife - 'Oh baby, I didn't get you anything.'
Me - 'No, no you don't understand. I can't show it to you. You see I did a shit ... and one of the bits looked like a love heart. I thought about showing it to you then decided you probably wouldn't have wanted to see it.'
TheWife - '...'