In the public service you're tied into performance agreements. Every few months you dust off the last one, confirm you met (circumstances permitting) your agreed outcomes, and either get approved for a pay rise or denied.
As you may recall I had a somewhat grabby temp supervisor last year - who at one point belly jiggled me. Yes, that's right. Belly jiggled.
As I am in a new area I needed my old 'what I did in my holidays' signed off. So I made a time with man hands.
Somewhat creepily we met in an empty wing of offices - yet to be settled by incoming staff. Just me and him. He was on the phone when he waved me to take a seat. During waiting for him to finish his mobile call, I yawned because I was tired - and a little bored I admit.
What did man hands do?
He reached out and patted my knee.
What. The. Fuck?
Unless he's been in a Pavlovian Clockwork Orange esq experiment where he was forced to watch men yawning and patted a mannikin's knee lest he suffer a mild shocking I cannot fathom how my yawning engendered a knee pat.
Anyway, all signed off. Before the meeting he said 'no worries mate, I'll tick you the highest one.'
Did he? No, second highest. There's no difference - I still get my pay raise - but still. That was weird. Why be enthused about giving me top dollar then ping me a silver instead of gold?
Bah, who am I to fathom the mind of man hands?