Saturday, February 28, 2009

Area man done over by an ESL encounter

First up let me say this is not a sledge against people who speak English as a Second Language. I am impressed at anyone that can speak more than one language, however badly. In school I should have tried harder to learn one.

In my home town there used to be a micro greasy spoon takeaway on the main street. The sort of place that had a layer of grease on every surface from 20 years of enclosed frying. It was run by an immigrant Greek couple.

How it escaped the attention of the health department escapes me. But, nonetheless, I liked hot food back then and would occasionally purchase stuff there.

One day I bought a big glass bottle of coke. Yes, it was the 80s, they sold coke in big glass bottles. I was due about $1.50 in change.

I held out my hand for it.

The woman, a big distorted heavy set facially hirsute lady, barked at me the following.

'Youlikeredskin?'

'Huh?' I said.

'Youlikeredskin?' she barked again.

I was a socially awkward kid. Rules of behviour were an unknown land for me. So I figured just saying 'yes' was the easiest way.

So she reached her flabby hand into a box of redskins, grabbed a chunk and dropped them in my palm.

Redskins you see are a horrid chewy lolly for sale in Oz. I don't like Redskins.

I was too embarrassed to exchange them back for my desired cash. So I walked off with a handful of redskins I never intended to eat. I think in the end I dumped them.

Did I mention it was the 80's? A dollar fifty was like five bucks in today's money. Well, to me at least.

Man was I pissed off.

'DoIlikeredskin?'

No, I fucking do not.

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