Upon the purchase of a convection microwave oven and balancing it across the trolley behind theNoo.
Me - 'Wow, he looks like he's driving a truck. Like the truck from Mad Max II - you know the one with the sand, and not oil. Oh crap, I spoiled it for you.'
Good Guy - 'I think most people know that.'
Me - 'You could be in league with the mutants.'
On the way out through the anti theft bippers (where the security woman was waiting as the girl on the counter had informed her the oven was too big to de-bip and the bipper was to go off).
Me - 'Hey it didn't bip!' (lifts up hand to shield mouth and says to theWife in a hoarse whisper) 'Go and get another one.'
Good Guy Security Woman - 'I don't think that would work. I would remember you.'
Me - 'Is it because we're both in red? If we ran off you could put out an alert for two Santas. Although you'd be Mrs Claus [said to theWife]. Mr Santa ... that would be a great porn name. I'm coming to fill your stocking ... '
Good Guy Security Woman - '?!?!?!?!'
Area Man failing to entertain sales workers for as long as he can remember.