Monday, December 01, 2008

Mikey's work day

I am easily bored at work. Some say it's sign of genius. Others - ADD*. Being easily bored means I am likely to do things or say things that entertain only moi - or possibly my desk buddy A.

A brief highlight

* I tried to get people to celebrate Festivus instead of the public workplace semi-embrace of Xmas (Santas + jolly decs = yes; Christ on the cross / in a manger = no). I snipped the Festivus wiki and pumped it out as a PDF. None of the sassy girls around the corner reacted to it. The email text announced that I was happy to bring in my own pole (the equiv of the tree in the festivus mythos). As K was leaving she admitted she had not read the PDF but expressed, in all seriousness, in seeing my pole. Gold baby.

* I found a dodgy midget (or midgit if an FSMee) plaster Santa statue that had invaded my first aid cupboard and made it hard for me to insert the kit. I stuck the Santa in an A4 photocopy lid, swaddled his lower half in bubblewrap, then left him on L's chair along with a note from a Santa abandoning parent who lacked the ability to cope with the responsibility of raising Saint Nick. The accompanying note warned L that Santa would give her shit away, including shoving it down a chimney and that Santa would attempt to harness push along cars to any dogs present and make them his reindeer bitches. Somehow L knew it was me...

* As I was stapling, crud fell out of the gap between the stapler plastic covering and the metal staple inducing innards. I was so impressed I ran around to show P my lump of stapler crud. He accused me of showing him a lump of my ear wax. Only the crud was hard and crusty so it would have had to fossilize. This lead to a free range conversation where I told P about my ear op from earlier this year (search for Ear if interested). I told him how recently my six month check up lasted approx one minute and cost $100. We mused about what sort of other jobs offered such money for time spent rewards. Then, the subject of my awesome seed came up (ho, ho). During fertility treatment it was discovered that I packed some super swimmers (the gyno's words). I was thinking about going into the parenting rec folder at work and announcing I was open for business. Both P and I then realised that was another $100 for one minute's work profession right there...

I'm going to miss these guys...


*Indeed I was taken off sugar for four years because they thought I was hypo - and likely a candidate for Ritalin had it existed back then.

** What is it with Jesus and being co-located with wood? All his seminal on earth moments have involved plantlife; wooden manger / wooden cross / crown of thorns.

3 comments:

  1. Still no problems with working with you. You're going to have to try harder.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We could use you here too. I think some of my co-workers have had irony bypass surgery.

    Teh white collar drama!1!! It's exhausting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aw you guys are kewl. I wish I worked with you.

    The place I am going to is staid city man.

    ReplyDelete