As a chubbo certain things happen that don't happen to normal people.
For example we can't wear T-Shirts with humorous slogans because our flab will distort the words and people fixate on that instead of the amusing message.
Also our legs rub together on occasion. Yes, it's not pleasant. One of the side results is that you can get lumps of hardened tissue forming - grey and unpleasant looking - from the repeated movement of the wobbling flesh. They feel and look like boils but alas they are not. Just compressed skin tissue. You can squeeze all you like but you won't pop them.
In the real world and equivalent of a recurring thigh growth that just won't pop and die is John Howard. He's been cruising the right wing think tanks of the world and exalting in their praise of his nasty little person.
He's recently appeared on Fox News where he went to say that we should not compare now to the Great Depression. As much as it irks me, he's right. But the thing that really pissed me off was this bit.
He warned the Rudd Government against going "carelessly" into deficit, reminding viewers that the Howard government had been good at balancing the budget.
Balancing the budget is somewhat easy when A) you slash social services (like dental support to the poor declaring it's not a health issue), B) when the preceding government restructures the economy to deliver increased revenue, C) a commodities boom the likes of which the world has never seen since the Industrial Revolution began commences and the mining sector of the Oz economy goes gang busters (sending money the government's way - and the share holders of mining companies - but not the average punter).
The second thing that annoys me, and it's somewhat ironic given he himself was a Treasurer at one point (though should be pointed out one of the worst in Australia's history given inflation / unemployment / deficit he left behind in '83 - though admittedly like in the late 80's world economic factors were in play), governments routinely go into deficit when times are bad because they need to kick start the economy.
It's economics one oh fucking one. He knows it. We all know it. Howard successfully bleated on about 'paying off 96 billion dollars of Labor debt' when he was in office, knowing full well that much of that debt was from spending designed to get the economy better functioning - which it did given the revenues coming his way when he got into office.
Instead of preparing the economy for when times turned - and need I remind everyone that Howard could not see why the mining boom wouldn't continue indefinitely in the last election - he gave away chunks of money in middle class bribery and targeted pork under things like the Regional Partnerships scheme.
Also Mr Howard, you are not the Prime Minister. It is an affectation in the US that former Presidents still retain the appellation of President. You do NOT get to be called Prime Minister unless it's prefaced by "former". If the interviewer keeps referring to you as the PM grow a pair a balls and tell them not to.
Two other pieces of interesting Howard news.
1) The Howard Years reveals that then Chief of the Defence Force told the Libs they were telling porkies over Children Overboard - which the Libs gleefully ignored because it was their political benefit. Howard also claims he didn't "road test" his infamous "we decide" comment in the poll research - though I remember (and still have the proof) the full page ads of the Little General pounding the lecturn with that tag line beneath it during the 2001 election.
2) The News Review section of the Weekend SMH (and for some reason I can't find this article online) had an account of when Petro Georgio and three other Lib back benchers met at the Lodge to talk with Howard about his locking children up without charge under his draconian battler friendly refugee legislation. Howard yelled at Petro that if he bought the member's bill to the floor that it would embarrass the party. Petro responds in clinical detail that allowing a child since birth to be detained to the point where she self harms at three from her conditions is far more of an embarrassment. Worth the purchase for that article alone.
Please Mr Howard, fuck off and recede from the world's stage. Your kind of politics of division is not what we need. Nor did we ever need it.