Unsurprisingly the President has pardoned himself, Dick Cheney, and all other members of his administration, living and dead. In addition, all members of his father's presidency, and any other Republican preceding him.
However, in an unusual move, George W Bush has entered a new frontier of pardoning by turning his attention to fiction, using his presidential pardon for the benefit of TV Action heroes 'The A-Team'.
'These gentlemen were convicted of crimes they did not commit,' said President Bush in an interview with The Weekly Standard. 'All they was doin' was following orders see. Following orders. Not their fault. Not their fault their CO, their Commanding Officer, was killed in action and unable to verify that the orders he'd given them was real.'
President Bush said that during the early to mid 80's he liked nothing better than drinking frosty brew after frosty brew and watching 'that fine docu-drama about them A-Team folks' and their crusade for justice by illegal means and through firepower.
'Sure ... sure ... they never actually hit anything theys shot at. I get that. But like the US military they too often travelled in soft skin vehicles that they would then have to armour up in some sort of 30 second montage sequence. Clearly the Lord was on their side in numerous instances when they was holed up in some sort of place with access to a discarded fridge and Oxyacetylene gear.'
Left: Bush and his biggest fansThe President admitted that his giving up alcohol was due in part to the end of the A-Team on network television.
'I tell ya, beer never tasted good again once those gold old boys left the screen,' said a saddened President Bush.
The President said that his pardon of The A-Team was at the pinnacle of his legal-influencin', up there with use of Gitmo as non-US soil for legal protection purposes, black prisons, rendition, definition of torture as causing pain akin to organ failure, or the time he signed the execution order for Karla Faye Tucker.
0 comments:
Post a Comment