Recently our building experienced yet another emergency. We were locked down for ages (you can't move between floors or leave the building until the all safe has been declared). As a wardeny type I had to be ready to shepherd my people Moses style out an exit.
During said emergency we were joking around as you do ...
1. The Red Shirt
As you may know, Star Trek TV coined the term red shirt, the name for any spear carrier on a TV show that would accompany a main protagonist and die during an encounter so as to up scale the sense of threat. P was wearing a Red Shirt. We laughed and said he would cop it first given his wardrobe choice.
'Yeah, and I'm suffering anal chaffing at the moment. So I'd cop it to right there too.'
Why? I know not. It seemed like a good idea at the time to say that (and it's not true, for it is lovely and pink). But well for some reason the idea of the red shirt applying to my anus seemed to ring true as a concept of being threatened by danger.
2. The miscommunication
J was about to go running when the lockdown happened. J is young, blonde, very attractive and fit. She was dressed in sprayed on running gear.
The topic of Aerobics Oz Style came up. I didn't know what made it Oz - I assumed they used ocker language or something (eg instead of "clean and jerk" then "buff and grab" - I know not Ozzer, I was stretching). It's Oz apparently because they would have their show (three aerobics instructors outside) set in an Oz locale like at the Opera House or a park with the Harbour Bridge in shot.
'Did you ever notice they'd have some blonde skank up the back?'
I gesticulated with my thumb to represent an up the back motion.
Yep ... right at J. Who was wearing her aerobics style running clobber.
There was this shriek of indignation and I went straight into the verbal equivalent of dropping prone and curling up in the midst of a bear attack as I tried to explain I wasn't talking about her.
Fortunately ... good sense of humour. So, so, so could lodge a complaint for that.
I am the king of workplace clanger droppers.