Thursday, October 16, 2008

Five stages

Apparently grief has five stages; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. When I asked a counsellor about it so many moons ago (I am scared to go back), I asked about how long you're supposed to be in each stage. She said it varied. Not only that - you can flit back and forth!

How fucked is that?

So pill companies. How about a five stages pill. You take it, then experience all the four nasty stages - Homer ate the blowfish style - in a minute. Then ... acceptance!

Yes, yes, I know. Grief is part of the rich tapestry of life. Only we, and well most mammals, feel it. Of course we're the only ones that have a self help industry. I never saw a 800 lb mountain gorilla perusing the Dymocks SH section and looking for 'So your mate was made into bush meat; get over it' style tome. Of course, should an 800 lb gorilla enter a Dymocks, well that's his prerogative. Apparently they can go wherever they want.

So okay, you copped a massive, massive fucking grief hit. But when you're in those stages all you want to do is reach the end point of acceptance. I mean ... fuck the rich tapestry. Seriously, that bites the fat one. With hair in it. Ashtray style.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is an awesome flick. I can't be fucked linking to it - but see it. SPOILER - the main concept is of course creative noggin tinkering is on offer for those who want to scrub painful memories from their mind.

When I saw it, I was all like 'but ... rich tapestry! Won't someone think of the rich tapestry!?'

Now ... well I can see how someone embroiled in grief would take such an option. You know those amnesiacs who get the 'can't remember X years of their old life' and think they are really Y-X years old? I bet the grief laden envy that sometimes.

On a side note, today I was told by the next tier up from me emergency warden person he was transferring out. So would I take his place. I said yes. Apparently, He man style, I have the power to evacuate chunks of the building during an emergency.

BEHOLD MY MIGHTY EVACUATIONARY POWER!

Do ... chicks dig saps that don't take a step back and avoid "volunteering" for the no-extra-pay-extra-work-people-hate-you-when-you-do-it inter office jobs like this?

I bet they do ... the saucy minxes!

This barely coherent stream of consciousness post was bought to you by 12, 6, B, and an apricot.

Oh - mash ups. Do they work for jokes?

The pope and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The pope turns to the rabbit and asks, "Mr Rabbit, do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replies, "Why, no, your holiness!" So the pope picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

'Cos ... the pope has a really hairy ring.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

3 comments:

  1. BEHOLD MY MIGHTY EVACUATIONARY POWER!

    YOu should totally yell this out next time you go to the toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes I cry when I pass a really big one. Maybe I could mask my pain with that?

    ReplyDelete
  3. TMI!!!!!!!!

    But yes, you could try.

    ReplyDelete