Today we had an intra branch farewell. If you're moving within a branch you don't get a farewell lunch. You get instead a farewell afternoon or morning tea.
We had one for W today since he got moved.
Anyway I was chatting with a co-worker, about scurvy of all things, when W launched into his adios speech. After he gave it, confused, I asked the boss why he didn't say words of farewell.
'I did. You talked all the way through it'.
I was late to this so I assumed it was a 'ho, ho' because boss likes the deadpan joke. He stared back and said 'no, I really gave it and you didn't hear it. You were too busy talking to X'.
Naturally I assumed the joke continued.
'Oh,' I said. 'You probably weren't saying anything interesting and that's why I didn't hear it.'
This assumed banter continued back and forth until it ended with me saying 'well everything I say is always interesting since when I'm talking I'm always saying interesting things' - along those lines. It ended with him suggesting to the section that if they had extra work they should send it my way - a reference to an email I'd sent earlier where I'd whined that since W was going and giving me work then I wasn't taking on non core extras.
Anyway, it ended and I was walking back to my slave station. I asked my desk buddy 'so when did the boss give the farewell speech?'
'While you were talking.'
Yep, I had failed to hear that the farewell had started, continued loudly discussing scurvy complete with mentions of bleeding blackened gums and loose teeth over the top of it, then in front of the section told the boss that he had therefore not been saying anything interesting and that's why I didn't hear it.
Now that is a Mikey Moment.
When I found out I got that gut twisting stab of pain and ran straight to his office and groveled out an apology, pleading genuine non knowledge that he'd started the farewell and I'd talked over the top of it with saucy dental damage talk.
I say again. I am a fuckstick.