Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Advertising Jester makes it with aging fellow ad actor

Sydney, NSW; The Carpet Court Jester, laconic lead super stud of world rug merchant spokespeople, has scored it with a fellow ad actor after downing three bottles of Crème de menthe, a favourite '80s mixer in the time before alcho pops dominated the drinking landscape.

"I don't know who you are but you should know who I am. And I am an expert on laying carpets," slurred the Jester, still dressed in his courtly regalia having come straight from a night shoot in an empty warehouse where the actor had driven around in a golf buggy pointing his over sized novelty jester scepter in a suggestive manner at rolled up rug wares on offer at comically low prices.

The woman, whose age was disguised by the subdued lighting and the slowed brain reaction time of the now green-lipped carpet themed medieval entertainer, responded flirtatiously to the Jester's quips and within twenty minutes they had secured a room together at the local Formula One motel.

The Jester then engaged in numerous sex acts with the woman, including pulling a card from his wallet and announcing he was "...the vagina inspector..." and demanding to see the offending orifice. After alighting from said genital area he then stagger-crawled up her sated body and asked her to "check out my sex sheen", proceeding to then indicate the secretions that glistened upon his cheeks and around his St. Patrick's Day-esque mouth.

Left: the sexually successful jaunty jongleur

"You got the margarine grin," responded the woman who then revealed she was in fact Rita the Eta Eater, matriarch of spreadable dairy products from the 1980s.

"Well call your friend Eta, baby, and let's eat her together," said the Jester who then passed out on top of the former conflated Ballooning and Butter enthusiast.

Later the next day at the shoot the Carpet Court Jester confessed to a clearly disinterested crew member that Rita was the "best spread he'd ever had" and said he was now determined to conquer all the surviving top tier product spokeswomen from the last three decades of television should they still be alive and/or capable of coitus.

"Let's just say I'll be dipping something other than chalk in Mrs Marsh," added the Jester.

Editor's Note: For a previous sexy tale of CCJ in action see here. Updated with edit, July 2015.

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