Sunday, February 10, 2008

Stolen generation audience stolen

Canberra, Australia: A busload of Aboriginal activists invited to attend Federal parliament to hear an historic apology from the new federal government has been stolen according to police sources.

'The bus was waylaid by masked bandits on that driveway between the old and new parliament houses according to witnesses,' said the source. 'They apparently hopped on and the bus was driven back down the other driveway and disappeared. '

On an unrelated matter parliamentarian Wilson "Ironbar" Tuckey, a staunch opponent of apologising to pretty much anyone on any issue ever, was reported to have called up an Aboriginal gallery and attempted to order 'a hundred or so humpies, flour, bacon and tea and shit' in the mistaken belief the business would sell basic shelter and food staples "enjoyed" by rural aborigines up until the 1960's, asking if such stores could be delivered to a property outside of Canberra.

'Frankly they were all better off when they had their wages stolen or paid in the form of basic rations, were forced into apprenticeships or to work my land or the land, had their children taken irrespective of their circumstances but because of their aboriginal blood and so forth,' said Tuckey before hanging up.

On a side issue split pelvis pink shirt meets natty blazer opinionist Andrew Bolt has said there was no stolen generation, demanding "the left" name just three children taken solely because they were aboriginal.

"The left" plans to nail various documents to his body by way of answer.

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