Monday, February 11, 2008

Steve Irwin holed by giant stingray

The Sea Shepherd, recently re badged Steve Irwin, "pirate" vessel funded by donations to shadow the Japanese whaling fleet and prevent the slaughter of whales, has somewhat ironically been holed by a giant version of the same animal that took out the khaki clad Crikey extolling super ozzer of the same name.

'Can you believe it?' said bedraggled and rescued John Butler esq hippy Franco Melnaco. 'Right out of the sea, whack, straight into the bow of the ship.'

The giant mutant stingray, whose existence had been theorised but never proven by marine biologists and salty sea salts that hang around in dim nautically themed drinking establishments, often missing an eye taken by a squid or such, was apparently swimming peacefully along and when the vessel pulled along side so various hippies could dance on deck whilst crooning to it through bongo drums with it the animal struck, powering its stinger fair into the Irwin.

'Crikey,' said the entire crew in unison as the stinger retracted.

Emergency patching of the hull took place as the entire marine resources of the country were employed to save the stricken celeb named after death boat but it was to no avail, with the Irwin sinking a few minutes later.

Fortunately the bongo drums proved to be surprisingly useful as ad-hoc flotation devices, despite the face clearly printed on the underside was a warning that they were not a life-saving device, only spiritually saving.

Unfortunately the freezing antarctic waters claimed most of the crew after ten minutes.

All bongo drums were safely rescued.

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