Saturday, February 23, 2008

More Guy Rundle goodness

From today's Crikey US election watch;

So it goes, so it goes. At a 9am press conference in reply to the charges this morning, McCain sounded tired, and tried to take the high ground, labeling the investigation by the Times as "disappointing" and denying any horizontal confrontations with the attractive Ms Iseman, of whom the paper published a photo from some ball – looking so shiny you could have set fire to an ant-farm just by angling her at the sun. She's about 8.5 out of a possible 10 on the Gillard scale, and bears more than a passing resemblance to the current Mrs McCain when young, which I reckon is pretty much always the smoking s-x pistol.

Cindy McCain spoke briefly to the media. She's been at her husband's side throughout the whole campaign, and if there's a vote they're trying to get from her appearances, it appears to be located entirely in the S and M subculture. Favouring scarlet leather jackets over black turtlenecks, with her bottle blonde hair scraped back so hard you fear her head may slingshot off at any moment, it always looks like McCain has borrowed one of Qaddafi's female bodyguards for the duration.

"I'm very grateful for the continued support of my ruthless henchwoman, who knows 30 ways to kill..."

An Arizona beer princess, she's the source of McCain's standing in the Phoenix aristocracy, and widely judged as an asset. She could turn out key demographics for McCain, but only if they put front-and-centre the one they tip-toe around – her painkiller addiction in the 90s, a jones so fierce she would steal pills from her own medical charity. Given that prescription drug abuse seems to have replaced basketball as American youth's number one sport, that seems to me the Republicans' only conduit to the 18-25s.

"Hey kids – I treated an international medical charity like it was Aunt Flossie's bathroom cabinet. I'm clean now, but I really liked those pink ones. Will someone put on some Cat Power?"

Fucking hell that's funny. I really hope Crikey bundle these up and sell em as a collection.

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